Rough Foreplay?
by neko-nya
Summary: Sequel to 'Ill Tempered Cat'. Dino and cat!Hibari, joined by cat!Mukuro decide to get to the bottom of the whole 'rough foreplay' misunderstanding once and for all. Slight D18 and XS oneshot


Rough Foreplay?

For the longest time, gray eyes didn't blink as he stared indifferently at the cat in front. Under his stare, the other cat gave his trademark smirk without breaking the silence. He continued watching the taller cat, contemplating his options at the moment. In his mind, a familiar scene was replayed; a loud, familiar scene that'd been reoccurring ever since that day…

* * *

_There were arms flailing in the air, a voice yelling, still full of disbelief. Just as he was watching the other cat, he watched the blond freak out with the same indifference. "That cat's a bad influence, a __**terrible**__ influence! I don't want you anywhere near him and his adulterated thoughts, it might be contagious! Next time you see him, make sure you come straight back home, alright!?"_

_The only thing he was concerned with was "So I can't bite him to death?"_

"_No you can't bite him to death! Not with the way he sees things! What if he's got something like…like…creeper-vision or something!? It's not safe!"_

_His tail twitched in annoyance, "so? Why can't I bite him to death? I can take care of myself."_

_This caused Dino to shake his head fervently, "Because he's a pervert! I know you can take care of yourself, Kyouya, but there some things that can't be shielded from physically so the only way to be 'safe' is to avoid it. Look, it'd just be better if you came home, va bene?"_

* * *

Sparing another glance over, he put his weapons away, turned around and walked away. Maybe it'd be smarter to listen to the blond just this once…

Behind him, the other cat called out curiously, "Oh? What's this? How rare, you don't want to play today? You've never turned down a play-date before. Or are you suggesting we take this elsewhere?"

Not replying, he continued to walk. Unfortunately, the other cat took it as a sign to follow him home.

* * *

Dino blinked and sat up when he heard the door open. Hibari normally stayed out for a few hours so it wasn't likely to be him… Getting his whip, he made his way towards the front entrance only to see the cat walk in, bird perched on his head as always, "Kyouya? That's rare, I wasn't expecting you back this early…what's the occasion, micino?"

The cat shrugged, "A pervert followed me back."

And behind him, another voice was heard. "A pervert? How mean…" Then, following the smaller feline, another one walked into the house, slowly studying the building with a thoughtful expression on his face, "so this is your new home, hm? Not bad-"

The blond froze as his mind processed the word, "Pervert!? Is _this_ the cat that's been teaching you all that weird, corrupted…stuff!? R-Romario!"

Almost immediately, the older man appeared with a pail in his hands, "here you go, boss."

A moment later, the taller cat found himself drenched in water and gave a low chuckle, an irritated smile on his lips, "now what might that be for?"

Dropping the bucket and standing next to his cat, he glared at the intruder, "for getting strange thoughts into Kyouya's head obviously!"

Dripping wet, mismatched eyes turned their attention to him with the same contemplative look, "is this your owner now? Unexpectedly young and lively, isn't he? I was picturing someone more like an elderly woman, so frail that even _you_ wouldn't try to bite her to death…are you sure _he's_ not the pervert here?"

Hibari turned to stare at him questioningly, almost in an unimpressed manner.

Dino frowned and let out a yell in protest, "Hey, of course I'm not! Why are you looking at me like that!?" He took out his whip, "you shouldn't believe anything that comes out of this cat's mouth!"

The other glanced at the whip in the blonde's hands and watched the pair in amusement, "hm? Did your owner want to join in on our 'rough foreplay'? Is that it? If he wanted to, he could've just said so instead of throwing water at me…now I'll have to go get changed."

He could feel his face heating up as he shook his head, "This isn't people call 'rough foreplay'!"

This time, it was Mukuro's turn to look confused, "What are you talking about? Of course it is, I heard it come straight from a human's mouth. I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't sure what it meant, especially not to an impressionable young cat like Hibari Kyouya here."

Hibari flattened his ears and glared at the other cat. Dino on the other hand frowned, he wanted to get to the bottom of this, "what do you mean you heard it from someone? Who? I can't imagine anyone calling that kind of activity," he opened his mouth but couldn't get those two words out, so he settled for "…what you called it."

The taller cat cocked his head, tail swinging behind him, "I don't know who it was but I can tell you what happened. That day, I was with my lackeys, these two dogs that my cute Chrome-chan took in out of pity and…"

* * *

_He was walking down the street with Ken and Chikusa occasionally attacking the former when the word 'pineapple' was used. A bit further down, they heard yelling. The hatless dog snickered, "hey, sounds like they're having fun, let's go check it out!"_

_The other two shrugged and followed along. Once they got to the house the noise came from, they all climbed the fence, some with more difficulty than others, and listened in on the domestic disturbance._

"_Voi! What the hell was that for!?"_

"_You didn't cook my steak properly!"_

"_You said extra rare!"_

"_This isn't extra rare, it's practically well done!"_

"_Did you just want it raw then!?"_

"_Maybe I should've said that instead since this is clearly __**not**__ extra rare!"_

"_Yes it i-whoa! Voi! That almost hit me!"_

_Within seconds, the two watched in alarm as a pot flew through a window and hit Ken square on the face. Mukuro looked down at the fallen dog momentarily before turning back to the more interesting scene at hand._

"_Damn, I missed…oh well, this won't."_

_There was the sound of metal clashing, "you're just straight on attacking me now!?"_

"_It's just rough foreplay."_

"_R-rough foreplay!? You call this rough foreplay!?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Voi! Get the hell away from me!"_

* * *

"…and that's what happened."

The blond stared at the cat in disbelief, "I…think you misunderstood the situation and the context the phrase was said in…that was definitely not what I was expecting to hear."

Mukuro frowned, "hm? Still don't believe me?"

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "No, that's not it…"

"I'll show you the house I heard it from. Wait here, I have to change first since you so kindly splashed water all over me."

Without waiting for a reply the cat sauntered off, leaving the pair behind. Hibari looked over at him, "so is he still a pervert?"

Dino shrugged, "I'm not sure, right now, he just seems like a cat that doesn't really understand human interactions…"

"So does that mean I can bite him to death again?"

* * *

After the cat returned, the three set off to find the domestically violent household that Mukuro had talked about. "It's just down this street…"

Dino frowned, "maybe we shouldn't be looking for the house, if they're as violent as you say, it might lead to trouble…this neighborhood isn't the best one to be taking a stroll in anyhow."

The taller cat looked over at Hibari, commenting observantly, "your human lacks resolve."

Hibari turned to him with that look again, the blond bristled, "hey, stop looking at me like that! I'm not lacking resolve, I'm just stating the truth!" He ran a hand through his hair, "Fine! Let's just get this over with and go home!"

* * *

And so, that's how they came to stand in front of a stranger's house. Dino pursed his lips, "this is it? Alright, now that we've come here, what exactly were you expecting us to do? Ring the doorbell and ask them if they can confirm your story?"

Mukuro shrugged.

Then from inside, they could hear fighting. Mismatched eyes shone in amusement, "maybe we won't even have to ask, it appears that they're at it again."

The Italian frowned, "listen you, this is definitely not foreplay of any kind, this is just domestic violence."

Then someone opened the door, looking ready to barge out, "I'm sick of this, I'm leaving!" Sharp eyes glanced over towards their direction and the figure stopped and yelled at them, "voi, what the hell are you guys doing in front of my house?"

Amber eyes widened, "S-Squalo Superbi!?"

The long haired man raised a brow for a moment before he opened his mouth in realization, "hm? Oh hey, you're that kid from school all those years ago! Didn't I beat you up a few times before?"

Dino's eyebrow twitched slightly, "out of all things…didn't your arm get bitten off by a shark a couple years back?"

The two exchanged glares and forced smiles for a moment, "let's not talk about such depressing topics."

"I absolutely agree."

From behind Squalo, other voices emerged, "who're you talking to out there? Do we have guests? Shouldn't we tell the boss?"

"Guests? But I haven't changed yet!"

"That's fine you look the same anyways-ow, that hurt, please stop throwing knives at me or I'll start crying, senpai."

"Sorry, my hand slipped, that's all."

"What's with all this noise!?" Hibari's ears twitched as an angry looking man came out followed by several animals, "what's this? Guests? Do you know them?"

Squalo shrugged and pointed at the blond, "I know that one, maybe those two are his pets."

The other snorted, "Who cares? Why are they here?"

"You just asked-tch, how the hell should I know," he turned his attention to the three, "voi, why are you here?"

Unsure of how to phrase the question, Dino gave a nervous smile, "it's nothing really, we thought we heard a fight and found ourselves here, that's about it."

The swordsman raised a brow, "Oh, is that it? That's definitely this guy's fault. Damn it Xanxus, your stupid abusive behavior's disturbing everyone!"

The black haired man scowled and grabbed the other by the collar, "You want to say that to my face, punk!?"

"I just did!"

As Dino tried to stop the fighting, a frog made his way up to the cats, face indifferent and he spoke in a monotonic manner to match it, "I didn't know the captain had friends, how interesting."

Gray eyes watched the frog in interest, raising his tonfas, he began to run after it with the obvious intent to kill, "look, it's a frog, I'm going to bite it to death."

The frog blinked before running away though his face remained impassive, "Ah, a cat, how scary. Please help me, Bel-senpai."

A mink joined the chase, knives out and ready to be thrown, "shishishi, how about I help him dice you up?"

Then Mukuro decided to follow, "kufufu, sounds like fun, shall I join in the chase?"

Hibari frowned at the other two, "go away, he's my prey."

"Don't be greedy now, Hibari Kyouya."

Once amber eyes glanced over to check on his cat, he realized that several of the animals had disappeared including the two that were with him. Running a bit past the corner, he caught sight of the four and began chasing after them, "oi Kyouya, you shouldn't bite other people's pets to death!"

Watching the Italian dash off, Squalo followed, "Voi, where are you going!?" Then he realized what was going on and picked up his pace, "Damn it, Bel's trying to kill Fran again!"

And Xanxus merely laughed as he strolled a bit down the street just to watch, "Who cares? Let him, we can finally have frog legs tonight."

Then a peacock also joined in the chase, "Squalo, you shouldn't run around like that, you'll get your long beautiful hair messed up!"

"Voi, shut the hell up or I'll kill you and feed you to Xanxus!"

The frog looked over his shoulder for a moment before running even faster, "everyone's chasing me, I must be popular. I wonder if I should be happy about this."

* * *

After a long while of sprinting, the Cavallone finally caught up to the animals and managed to get both cats back before they could harm the frog. "We're definitely staying away from that neighborhood from now on," Dino let out a sigh of relief, "but see, Kyouya? That was definitely just domestic violence, and not foreplay of any kind."

Gray eyes watched him questioningly, "that means I can bite Mukuro Rokudo to death again, right?"

The blond laughed, "yes, yes you can. It's strange how you two use each other's full name, I can't tell if you're friends or not…"

"We're not, only herbivores mingle," was the immediate reply.

The taller cat gave a mock-cry and clutched his chest, "I'm hurt, Hibari Kyouya, and here I thought we were _best_ friends. I even invited you to dinner that one time-" he was cut off as he avoided a direct hit to the head from the other. The cat purred, "So eager to continue playing?"

Dino watched as the two sparred and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "that cat…has really warped interpretations of words. Kyouya, it's almost dinner time, let's stop your playing or whatever you call this and save it for next time, hm?"

At the mention of food, the cat's ears perked and he looked over, lowering his weapons, "…fine…"

"Do you want to invite him over as well?" He asked, nodding towards the other cat.

Hibari stared at him for a moment before giving a deadpan "no."

Mukuro took no offense as he chuckled, "Kufufu, it's alright, let's not fret over trivial things, I promised my cute Chrome-chan I'd be back for supper anyways; maybe next time, now that we've cleared up the fact that I'm not a pervert."

"Speaking of pervert…" the cat turned to the blond, "if that wasn't 'rough foreplay', what exactly is it?"

Dino did a double take, "w-what!?"

Gray eyes remained impassive, "what's 'rough foreplay'?"

The taller cat nodded, smirk on his face, "yes, do tell us, since you seem to have such a _clear_ grasp as to what it is."

The blond avoided their curious eyes, "it's not something I want to or should be explaining to un micino like yourself, Kyouya, maybe when you're older…" then he muttered to himself, "hopefully you'll have forgotten this whole incident by then…"

Mukuro looked unimpressed at his response and looked at the smaller cat, "like I said earlier, your human lacks resolve."

Hibari merely stared at the Italian with that look again.

Dino frowned, "I do _not_ lack resolve! Stop looking at me like that! Kyouya!"

* * *

Nya~

Here's the sequel-ish part! I added Squalo's arm getting bitten off just to give Dino something to retort with. And let's just say Fran's not Mukuro's student, and I _would_ add the Millefiore but they're plants and dinosaurs so that's kind of hard...maybe if I think of something...one day. I absolutely love Fran, he's right up there with Dino and Hibari. I actually can't think of anything else to say since I've been watching way too much hockey and curling today. Canada lost in hockey... -pouts- Anyways, if you're wondering where Varia's animals came from, read on and enjoy!

* * *

Omake 1: Lackeys

Dino blinked as he watched his cat, "what's wrong, micino? You look deep in thought."

Hibari shrugged, "lackeys."

The answer caused the blond to cock his head, "lackeys?"

"That herbivore has lackeys…"

The Italian's brows furled, "I hope you're not suggesting that I should go and bring dogs back to the house?"

The cat got up and scoffed, "of course not, I'm not an herbivore, I can find my own lackeys."

Dino frowned, he didn't like the way the cat phrased that. But before he could say anything else, the feline had already left the house.

* * *

His suspicions were confirmed when the cat returned later with a large group of rather rough looking dogs behind him. At the door, gray eyes scanned over the pack, "sit."

The pack obeyed.

Dino came running to the door, "Kyouya, what's with all this!?"

Hibari shrugged, "They were disrupting the order of Namimori so I bit them to death, and now they're my lackeys. Kusakabe, you're on patrol tonight."

A large dog with a pompadour straightened up and nodded, "yes sir!" And then he led the group away.

From behind him, Romario let out a small cough to hide his laugh, "he's definitely the cat of a don, boss."

Dino gave a weak laugh, "Yea…he definitely is…absolutely no doubt about that…"

* * *

Omake 2: Cravings (of a pregnant woman)

One day, Dino decided to head back for a second visit to his old schoolmate. Inside the house, he noted all the different stares he received from the animals around him and lightly commented, "How nice…you have such exotic pets…"

"Hn? You mean our emergency food supply? Yea, there's one more out in the pool in the back," he led the blond into the kitchen, "I'm surprised you actually came back."

"Well I haven't really talked to you since you got your arm bitten off by that shark, so I figured I might as well, don't know that many people here anyways…" he walked over towards the back of the house and looked out the window, "whoa, you have a _stingray_ in your pool!? I thought you meant a dog or fish or something…I'm slightly surprised it's not a shark," he commented dryly.

The long haired man scowled, "Let's not talk about that."

The blond looked around, "where's that other person? Black hair, angry…"

"Xanxus?" Squalo shrugged, "he went out, not sure why."

"I see…" he looked around at the curious eyes of the animals, "how'd you manage to get animals like these anyways? I'm pretty sure it's illegal here…anywhere really, except for the frog."

The silver haired man sighed and started rather reluctantly, "I guess it's better than talking about sharks, let's see…Levi, that stingray out back, we got him when…"

* * *

"_Oi, I want sushi."_

_Squalo raised a brow, but decided to go along with the other's cravings, "fine, I'll get some for later then."_

* * *

_However, when he got home and looked out the kitchen window…_

"_Voi, why the hell is there a stingray in the pool!?"_

"_I said I wanted sushi."_

"_And I bought you some!"_

"_That's not fresh enough."_

"_So you want me to dice up a live **stingray**!?"_

"_Why not?"_

* * *

"That man has the cravings of a pregnant woman…" Squalo muttered darkly to himself.

Dino gave a nervous laugh, sensing that it was a touchy subject, he pointed over at the peacock, "w-what about the peacock?"

The peacock flushed happily, "he wants to know about me!"

"Lussuria? Uhh…"

* * *

"_Why's there a peacock in the house!?"_

"_I said I wanted **large** **bird** meat!"_

"_Yea and I went out and bought freaking __**ostrich**__ meat!"_

"_That's __**too**__ big!"_

"_**Too big!?** What the hell does that mean!? Can you even **eat** peacocks!?"_

"_Who cares? Just cook it!"_

"_Voi! Stop throwing things at me!"_

* * *

Looking at the other's expression, the blond quickly pointed at the mink, "what about this one?"

The frog looked over, "Bel-senpai, he's pointing at you, isn't that rude?" And for his question, he got knives in the head, "Ow…"

"Shishishi, let's hear what he's got to say about me…"

Squalo turned to the mink, "Hn, Bel?"

* * *

"_Voi, what is that!? A weasel!?"_

"_No, I'm a mink."_

"_I thought you said you wanted western cuisine!"_

"_I heard pioneers used to eat otters in North America."_

"_Hey, I'm a **mink**."_

"_That was centuries ago!"_

"_Just cook it! If they could eat otters back then why can't we!?"_

"_Do I __**look**__ like a pioneer!? There's no way I'm eating otter!"_

"_I'm a mink!"_

* * *

The mink frowned, "oh yea, I remember that…"

The frog glanced over, "senpai, to be honest, I always thought you looked a bit more like a weasel than whatever you are." More knives, "ow, I guess saw that coming."

Seeing the steadily irritated look on his schoolmate's face, Dino laughed nervously, "do I want to ask about the frog…? Kyouya's taken a liking to chasing him it seems, he asked if I could find him one…" he left out the 'so he could bite it to death' part out.

The said creature pumped his fists into the air and cheered monotonically, "yay, it's finally my turn to take center stage."

Squalo's brow twitched, "Fran…"

* * *

"_You said French food so I got escargot!"_

"_**Snails**!? You expect me to **eat** that crap!? That's disgusting!"_

"_And a __**live**__ frog isn't!?"_

"_Shut up and cook it already!"_

* * *

Dino gave a jump as the silver haired man let out a loud yell of frustration. Quickly, he got up and headed for the door, "well, it's been nice chatting with you, Squalo, I think it's time I get going now. Have to get home and shower or else Kyouya will complain about me smelling like an herbivore again. Thanks for having me over, let's do this again some time, ciao!"

Inwardly, he decided that it was at least ten times safer hanging out with Tsuna than it was with Squalo.

So that was the last time he visited Squalo and his exotic pets.

* * *

Fran looked over at the silver haired man, "captain, I think you scared your friend away."

"Whatever," Squalo growled to himself, "cravings of a pregnant woman…I swear…" straightening himself out, he shook his head and looked over at the animals, "what did that bastard say he wanted for dinner tonight again?"

"He said he wanted something magical," the frog supplied helpfully.

"Magical…? What's he going to do? Go and bring back a faerie?"

Just then, the door opened rather violently, "oi, I brought dinner home since if I asked you to get it, you'd probably just screw it up like you always do."

Gray eyes looked over hesitantly, then widened at the sight in front of him, "…what the hell Xanxus!? What _is_ that thing!? You brought an _alien_ home!?"

"I said I wanted something magical tonight!"

He stared at the floating black figure, "but an _alien_!?"

"Whatever, just cut it up and cook it like you would for anything else!"

"Are you joking me!? That's an **_alien_**! Voi! There's no way in hell I'm cutting that thing up! It's freaking _floating_!"

And that's how another 'exotic pet' ended up in the Varia household, one they eventually came to name 'Mammon'.


End file.
